Random Family Antics

Receptionist: Oh Hi! Weren’t you guys just here recently? Mom: ((sigh)) Yes. Receptionist: Do you still live at… Mom: Yes. Receptionist: Is your insurance all the.. Mom: Same. Receptionist: Is she still allergic to… Mom: Yes. Receptionist: Can I have your… Mom:  Insurance card and drivers license. Here. Mom: The x-ray machine is definitely working today, correct? Receptionist: Oh, yes. It’s an.. Mom: Old machine? Has good days and bad days.. like all of us? Receptionist: Yes! That’s exactly what I say. Mom: Is today a good day? Receptionist: Yes! It is! Mom: Great. Receptionist: Please remove any.. Mom: We did. Receptionist: Do you need a locker for.. Mom: Nope. Receptionist: Just wait here and the tech will be right with you. Mom: Is it Shirley today or Rita? Receptionist: Well, Shirley is still out till the middle of June. Mom: Yes, tell her we hope she’s enjoying her trip. Recept...

Morning Snap frantically wakes Mom to drive her to the 'early morning combined orchestra rehearsal' she forgot to mention. Mom shoves lunches into backpacks and flings everyone into the car.  Screeching up to the orchestra entrance, Mom notices the usual door monitor is not there. Mom sends Snap inside to verify rehearsal is still on. Snap returns to say combined rehearsal is not actually today - whoops - but some other day, and she has no idea when. Mom is confused, because Mom notices a line of cars forming behind her. Mom assumes it’s an email mix up and tells everyone on the car line that rehearsal is cancelled.  Snap, Crackle and Pop help by smiling, making eye contact with their friends, and waving them all away.  One man rolls down his window and thanks Mom profusely, while simultaneously yelling at his son for getting the date wrong.  Mom smiles at the father and says ‘glad I could save you a trip inside!’ We all watch as a numbe...

Zippia: Did they cancel your very first Girl Scout 3 day camp-in-the-woods thing because of the weather? Mom: No Zippia: But it was pouring nonstop and I even turned the heat back on it was so cold. Did you actually stay in those cabins without heat? And they couldn’t possibly have outdoor activities with all that rain! Mom: We did and they did. Zippia: What was it like?! Mom: It was like childbirth. Zippia: Oh no.. Mom: It’s an endurance feat.  Beginning with lots of excitement and nervous energy.  Builds with increasingly challenging physical feats and pride-filled feelings of “I got this.” Crescendos with emotions of fear and  “Get me the hell outa here.” “It can’t possibly be only 9:30.” Followed by “Why is this happening to me.”  “Make it stop.” “Did I actually sign up for this?!”  Finishing with “Glad that’s over!”  “Awww.. look at these great photos!”  “I can’t believe how much fun P...

2018 Mothers Day Antics PUBLIC MOM:  Thank you so much.  Happy Mother’s Day to you too! Yes, I’m so lucky. Yes, it’s so much easier than when they were younger. It’s a pleasure now, really.  SCARY MOM SEEKING PRIVATE PHOTO OP:  WHYYY WHYYYY can't you guys just ALL look at the camera and smile.. a NICE smile.. AT the same time??  No crying,  No 'he's touching me - make him stop touching me’ No 'I took a photo like this last year, I don't want to do it aaa-GAIN.’  Just take the freakin photo so we can be DONE and I can get the ONLY freakin Mother's Day gift I EVER ask for.  A flippin’ photo..  of ALL my flippin’ kids looking HAPPY together  in ONE single photo smiling ALL in the same direction preferably AT the camera AT the SAME time and with their eyes OPEN ALL of them ON Mothers Day.  Thank you VERY much.